BREAKING : Desperate Kasich Invokes Bob Evans as Debate Opportunity Slips Away

It is a crying shame that tonight's Gubernatorial Debate wasn't mandatory viewing for all Ohioans. Had they been forced to watch, they'd have seen a shallow Republican candidate grasping at straws time and time again. They'd have also witnessed the lamest, most cliche closing in debate history. John Kasich told the story of one of the saddest days of his life, as he just happened to be in an undisclosed Bob Evans, eating an undisclosed meal (probably Sausage Gravy or Pumpkin Supreme Pie), when he noticed an Ohio couple balancing their household budget on the back of a napkin. (Yeah, I know...) Legend has it they immediately brushed aside their steaming hot cups of coffee to shake the hand of the wealthy man stopping to interrupt them while they were eating.

"Common people," he said, "what are you doing here with these small numbers?"

"I'm sorry," said the older gentleman, "do you work here?"

"Oh, no (chuckling), of course not. I'm John Kasich. I'm running for Governor. Why don't you slide over in the booth and let me listen to myself talk while you try to politely avoid picking at that plate of cooling apple cobbler"

Like much of tonight's debate, the words coming out of John Kasich's mouth were fiction. They aren't true tonight. They weren't true when they were brainstormed over the weekend. And they won't ring true when voters dismiss his candidacy this November. (In fact, someone please send me a photo of the Ohio couple in the Bob Evans with the napkin and I'll personally apologize to Congressman Kasich the next time I'm at his country club).

Tonight, moment after moment, time after time, John Kasich took every opportunity to twist and distort the record of Governor Ted Strickland. From taxes to trains, Kasich blew his best chance to avoid what we're calling the Kasich Tailspin. Now, it seems almost certain his single digit polling lead will evaporate over the next month and a half.

Why? Because instead of telling us what he's for, he used his hour to spin a wild tale of blame that few, if any, media outlets in the state will let him get away with. Even the Cincinnati Enquirer will have a hard time letting Kasich blame Strickland for job losses caused in large part by economic policies Kasich supported while in congress.

Worst of all, Kasich's only original idea tonight for accelerating Ohio's recovery was a Wall Street-inspired "JobsOhioClub" where Kasich picks a dozen golf buddies to oversee close to a billion not-for-profit dollars in public and private money. The club would essentially meet in secret (maybe a spa somewhere), not be held to the same standards and rules of government agencies, and would award (or reward) loans, tax breaks, and other incentives to whomever they choose. All while being paid undisclosed salaries for their efforts. Ahhhh. Now that's a tough job.

Sounds like Kasich is more interested in creating just 12 jobs than restoring the thousands he helped drive over the border and overseas.

The only thing we learned tonight is that while Ken Blackwell was crazy, John Kasich is pure evil. If Ted Strickland can't knock this meatball to the canvass in the next month and a half, we as Democrats don't deserve to win this fall. Guv, lace up the gloves.

When they handed him the script,

they probably had to explain to him what a "Bob Evans" was. It's not something a sleek, expensive, well-fed ex-congressman who got a half million dollar bonus the year his financial firm collapsed is likely to know. He'd also not be likely to know that peons like us, when we do scrape together money to eat out, go out to relax and enjoy ourselves, not to do our budgets on the backs of napkins. But then, maybe that's how Kasich and his pals were doing financial calculations at Lehman Brothers and it's why they ran into trouble.

What a fraud Kasich is.

Apparently this is the

Apparently this is the moment the Kasich campaign has been waiting for. Gamechanger! Yawn.

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