If You Don't Subscribe to the Borowitz Report, You Should!
I'm sure many of you do. Here's a sample for those that don't:
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The spending cuts mandated by the sequester may hamper the United States’s ability to invade countries for absolutely no reason, a Pentagon spokesman warned today.
The Pentagon made this gloomy assessment amid widespread fears that the nation’s ability to wage totally optional wars based on bogus pretexts may be in peril.
There's more. Go check it out. Funnier than The Onion.